beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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