i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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