I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
