My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
