so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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