dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
