So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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