Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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