You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
