You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
