Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
