All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
