You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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