if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
