The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
