I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
