I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
