no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
