Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
What a dumb baby whore.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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