He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
