new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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