I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
