so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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