Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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