dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
