4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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