You work out of a Hotel?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
