You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I want to fling myself into the sun
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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