after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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