Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
