She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
