I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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