ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woke up backwards on a recliner
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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