no, he came in my armpit
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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