I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Drunk is not a location!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
