I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
