I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
