Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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