Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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