Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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