12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Alive.
So much puke
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Bring me that man meat
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
