Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Hippo gnu deer
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
