Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
