Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
This is my gift to your gina
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
