First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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