Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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