She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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