dude i'm inner monologue high
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
