his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
