things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
