Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
