I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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