just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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